Since the very beginning i didn’t know what to voice out. I think i know now. It’s too late for explanations of what russian society is. It’s pretty late for statements, yet i want to voice this one.
I still have a russian citizenship. I currently reside in the Netherlands (relocating several months before the invasion, if it matters). I have no intention of keeping that citizenship once i have a chance to switch, will this happen in the Netherlands or in another country. The citizenship comes with obligations, such as at least reparations then and donating now, that i will fulfill. But what i am trying to say is that i don’t want to be a part of the whole country concept. I want to drop from the “we” part. I do not share any views of “but it’s still my homeland”, “but there are also nice people there”, “this is where your childhood came through”, “it should mean something to your heart”. I’m here not just because “there is a war and a draft, you know”. I’m here to leave russia and have no attachments to it. I’m sick of the society that is currently more worried about soldiers kids getting preferences in their universities rather than the fact of everyday missile attacks. This is not just uncomfortable to live with, this is incompatible with a definition of a human being.
Count me in as a passport/citizenship bearer. Count me out as a societal unit. I want out, i will take my chance to be out, and not only out of putins russia, but from russia as a whole, and the war is not the reason here, my reasons are what allowed this war to happen. I would prefer to serve in non-fascist countries rather than living a high-class life in moscow-city, even if war is over and another one would be not coming. I can’t simply say that i have no relation to all of what is happening, because i’m still a russian citizen. But i want out, i want out from it as a whole, i want to have no relation in future even if they draw their fucking army back right today and all the relocants will flow back to their so-leading best banking app in the world. I will do what it takes to be out.
The last thing to say is something that russian society willingly keeps itself blind to. This post is mostly about me, just like all the russian media whines about how their life got more difficult due to the ongoing war, and this is the part that is terribly wrong.
What relocants experience is incomparable to what ukranian citizens are going through. While russians have to learn new names for local supermarkets and hide for a couple of weeks from draft, there is a whole country that will experience PTSD for decades once the fucking army is out, it’s not a thing that is over just as the peace treaty is signed. And the latter is nowhere near. And the mentioned PTSD is the smallest thing to talk about, the damage done is simply incomprehensible. Ukranians must be supported not because they are brave, good, right or anything else. They must be supported because what’s happening is absolutely horrific and because doing anything else clashes with the simple idea of a human being. And whatever we experience, at least while it’s of a very different scale, can be postponed.
So dear co-citizens, if you read this. Can you please finally just shut the fuck up?
